More More Movie Thoughts

Interstellar – some might say it’s a mind fuck, some might say it’s nonsense; I say it’s a great piece of filmmaking. Dreamers for the win. 

Gone Girl – a masterfully filmed crime thriller turned black comedy. Cool girls no more.

Oslo, August 31^st – Dark realism as only the Scandinavians can do.

The Punk Singer – a feminist’s must see documentary. Learning from the best.

A Blast – when your life goes to shit it’s time to ‘explode’. Good play with gender roles. 

Buried – what’s in the box? Ryan Reynolds. Devastating.

Head-On – beautiful love story. Talk about bad timing. I hate bad timing. It should never be an excuse.

More Movie Thoughts

Dallas Buyers Club – a great character study and an utter tearjerker.

Four Weddings and a Funeral – hopeless romantics for the win.

Nymphomaniac: Vol. I & II– I wouldn’t want to be in LVT mind.

Equilibrium– cool concept and some good fighting scenes.

Miss Violence – with all these kind of movies from the new Greek wave people will think we are freaks.

Sexy Beast– well-made gritty tale. Ben Kingsley is superb.

Born into Brothels – thought provoking documentary on how art can change someone’s life.

Her – sad but true.

The Babadook – creepy at parts but doesn’t live up to the hype.

The House at the end of Time – great horror story with a twist that works well.

The Signal – a slow burning sci-fi with great writing and directing. Probably one of my favourite movies of the year.

Bad Lieutenant – one of the saddest and most despised characters in film history.

Movie Thoughts

Candyman – believable, good storyline. Nothing extraordinary.

Under the skin – visually stunning but hard to shallow.

Inside – nonstop brutality, blood and gore. Brilliant.

The face of another – good existential film that gives you food for thought.

Spellbound – who knew that spelling competitions could be so exciting?

Mouth to mouth – coming of age within a hippie cult.

Brothers Bloom – more Wes Anderson than Rian Johnson.

Detour – one of the first film noir, short and memorable.

Dear Zachary, a letter – heart-breaking documentary, better than fiction. A must see.

The colour of pomegranades – visually stunning, no comments. 

Frank – my kind of movie, dark humour with an oddball character.

Calvary – dark but human, tapping into a sensitive subjective.

The beat my heart skipped – interesting character study.

Rush – lovely story and characters.

X-Men: Days of future past – weak script with one great scene.

The brood – early Cronenberg with a great concept, as always.

Imaginary Letter One

I envy their happiness, their pairing. The time they spend together. I envy the fact that they have each other.

I see them every day and I dislike the thought of them. They come in together, they leave together. They do nothing to annoy me but their existence, the thought of them, is enough to turn my stomach. They represent what I despise and try to avoid. Lack of personal space, boredom, lack of independence and settling down. I cringe with the sight of them and I want to smash my glass against their faces. I laugh when I remember their words of freedom, keeping appearances and never sleeping where you eat. Where is all that then? You represent all that I despise. You are all hypocrites.

I hate your happiness, your pairing. The time you spend together. I hate the fact that you have each other, someone, anyone. 

Broken Boy Toy Soldier

 
Sometimes it feels like I have a child in my arms. A small boy that waits for my move, my affection in order to respond. Like an inanimate toy that can be cold and distant. Dead and lost. A toy that needs my tuning to come alive, that only responds to my touch.
But I don't fool myself. This boy has allowed me this power, the ability to animate it. But if he suspects that I am viewing this as a weakness or that I am taking advantage of my power, he will shut down. I will be banned and that would be it. No more tuning, no more play, no fun. Dead and lost.

My Top Ten Movies of 2013

10. TheWorld’s End

How can I not like anything that Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg create?

9. In the House

Obsession, creativity, dark humor, one of Ozon’s best movies

8. The Great Gatsby

Leo forever!

7. We Steal Secrets

A great account of WikiLeaks and the man behind of it all. It doesn’t take sides and lets you make up your own opinion. 

6. Filth

Brutally honest, dark and twisted with a heart of gold. 

5. Stoker

Gothic, Obsession, Love, everything I like in a movie. More here

4. Cloud Atlas

Very underrated. It’s like 6 movies in one.

3. Before Midnight

So realistic it hurts. Jesse and Celine enter reality. 

2. The Act of Killing

No comments. You need to watch it to believe it.

1. The Great Beauty

It’s like swimming in honey. It made me sad, smile and think. It made me fall in love with a city I’ve never been before. 

The Last One

Matt walked to the door, slowly, but with confidence. This time was going to be the last one.

'Why am I so nice and accepting of this? I can't get mad and call you out for what you are. Anyone else would have discarded you. Not me. You still have a grasp over me and I am unable to diminish you.'

She got in and made her way to the couch. She was quiet. Didn't say a word, just smiled. He smiled back and poured himself a glass of wine. He didn't offer anything to her.

'No matter what happened, no matter what will happen , even if we never see each other again (and I am not even hoping) I still wish nothing but the best to you. I care enough and I hope one day you will manage to help yourself and fight your demons. I want you to be happy. I value you and wish you could see what I see.'

They sat next to each other. She went first. Talked and talked for minutes. Matt listened. He observed her lips and eyes as they wandered around the room unable to rest on his face. For the first time she was awkward around him. Guilty of what was happening. Matt sipped his wine.

'I find myself wondering of the real reason I believe in you. Is it denial? Am I overcompensating for the pain and rejection your offered. By keeping you on top I tell myself that it was all worth it. If I feel that way it must be true.'

He walks away as she continues talking. He listens no more. He can't. He was expecting this. The words that come out of her mouth has seen them coming.

'Or maybe I am weak and can't bare to be mean about someone. I can't say things as they are but choose to disguise them. I am proving again to be victim of my need to please and be liked by everyone.'

She is finally looking at him as he stands in front of her. She is out of words and breath. She was 'running' to finish her speech. No one is talking. She looks around for something. Nothing. It's Matt's turn.

'Maybe I am just emotional and I love to over dramatize situations. And what a perfect one that is. Me rejected, she a mess, me holding a candle to her memory. A boy wishing nothing but the best to the girl that broke his heart. I do love drama.'

He is mumbling. He hesitates to say what he has planned for so long. But he keeps on . His voice rises. He is certain now. He drinks wine and starts walking up and down. From time to time stops and fixes his eyes to hers. He has removed any emotion from his words. It's all planned and carefully executed. Only logic.

'In the end it might just be the way I feel. I can't help myself. All these that form me, form my attitude to this situation. I am who I am, I feel how I feel, she is who she is, thing are the way they are, I see them the way I see them and no matter how much I analyze them nothing will change.'

Matt is done. They sit quietly next to each other. She is looking at him but he is staring at the table in front of them. Without even thinking he picks up her gloves and tries to wear one. She mimics him. Makes a joke about the size of his hands. They laugh. He gives her the glove back and walks to the door. She follows him, slowly, but with confidence. This time was the last one.

Silver One

It's summer somewhere in a Greek island. I can see the white houses with the blue doors. There is something quintessential serene about these houses. Ours is nested in a village high above the sea. The view is breathtaking and the sea is accessible within minutes. I can see the village spreading beneath my feet, the port with the small boats , the fishermen working on their nets and children jumping fearlessly into the waters. There is a flag waving somewhere in the distance and music coming from above . The smell of salty skin fills my lungs. We are surrounded by other similar houses and I can hear the people, locals and tourists passing by, chatting away about things that doesn't matter to me. We have the house to ourselves. I walk barefoot in the yard just outside our bedroom. I am tanned, I wear no makeup and little clothes. There is a table in front of me with the classic red paid tablecloth and a plastic plant on top. The cold breeze makes the tablecloth dance and sweeps the leaves from the floor. My skin is alive. I look at the vines above my head. I had some grapes earlier on and I reach for some more. You can feel the heat but the sea keeps bringing a cool breeze up the hill. The sun has fallen beneath the mountains and dusk has settled in. The music stopped and the people voices faded away one by one. I stay still as the village falls asleep. It's quite and there is no light around. I can only hear the sound of the waves as they crash on the port. The sky is clear and I can see the stars, practically touch them. The moon up above the sea illuminates everything. The table, the vines, the concrete floor, the curtains and the sheets are all seeped in a silver shade. His body lays naked. Everything in the room is white, the decoration minimal and the walls empty. He is asleep. There is a book by the nightstand. Our pile of stuff in one corner and our clothes scattered on the floor. That cold breeze storms the room and makes my body shiver. I curl up next to him. The windows are open and the moonlight is peering though showering us both. The wind makes the lace curtain dance. I can see our yard, the vines and the dark blue of the sea far away. I press myself closer to him. Our bodies become one. We kiss.

This year’s Resolutions...

Things accomplished!

I found a new job, got a really good counteroffer and eventually stayed in the same company (which I never wanted to leave in the first place).

·        Moved to the team I wanted all along, got a promotion and a raise. BOOM!

     Made new friends and had an even better time at work (if that’s even possible).

·       People surprised me in a bad way - that made me see that you can’t always have it your way.

·       Got drunk and made a fool of myself - finally got over it and now I don’t give a fuck.

·        Slapped my boss – it’s not as bad as it sounds. Alcohol was involved by both parties.

·        Learned a lot about me and I am finally proud to call myself a feminist. Thanks Internet.

•      I dyed my hair blue (I always wanted to do that) and I got myself a tattoo.

•        Vienna, Brussels, Herne Bay, Chios, Istanbul, Oxford, Madrid the trips I made.

•        Started kickboxing (responsible for my killer abs) and I am experimenting with pole dancing (that shit is difficult).

·         Took a creative writing course and that helped me with my procrastination problems.

·         Started a new script.

·         Walked the tide line http://humantide.co.uk/ 

•       Volunteered in Secret and Future Cinema ventures (the Shawshank Redemption / Casablanca / Brazil / Ghostbusters) and once again in Frightfest.

•        15 books read: https://www.goodreads.com/user_challenges/854395 

•        Bought a smartphone.

Things to achieve on my 28th year!

•        As much as I love my current company I think that this year I will have to move on.

•        Write, Write, Write – finish at least two short scripts.

•        Revamp this blog and don’t abandon the updates.

•        Take short courses – fashion maybe.

•        Buy a sewing machine and start practicing – failed to do so last year.

•        Start dancing – try a new exercise.

•        Cook more and eat better (every year’s resolution).

•        Watch roller derby and try?

•        Get involved more with charity work.

•        I think I want another piercing.

•        Play around with the possibility of moving to another country or taking a sabbatical.

•        Stop being jealous and experiment more.

•        Don’t forget to fall in love.

Thrown Away Memories

Memories we had and memories we could have. We occupied a space in time and filled it with our skins, fears, hopes and secrets. A part of our existence.
For a brief time I became aware of your presence in this world and tried to be a part of it. For a brief time you seemed to do the same. We collided and made something of our own. A part of me, a part of you, we built our memories and promises for more to come.
Now they lay in this empty space of ours. Memories that have been and memories that could be.Thrown away and discarded. I know them so well, I made them, I felt them to my bone and to this day their existence hurts.